I Beg Your Hate
by SomeoneWhoHides
Summary: A little songfic for Fushimi Saruhiko's character song. Credit for the song goes to its composers and musicians. Not SaruMi, but not denied.


_Song lyrics  
_Story

**I beg your hate**

I want you to look at me.

I don't care if your gaze is full of hate, love or anger...

As long as you don't leave me.

* * *

_L & R Together we wear one side in each of our ears,_

_Wearing the same uniform, looking your sleepy face,_

_Sharing a languid conversation, the bus drives away with us on it._

"Hey, monkey..."

"What is it, Misaki?"

"Don't call me that! Everybody will hear!"

"So its alright if I say it while we're alone?"

"Stupid Monkey! I never said that! And stop saying such weird things!"

"Weird things how?"

"Aargh! Shut up then! All I was gonna ask was if you wanted to listen too!"

"Heh, I'd love to."

_Wearing the R on my left side, while you wear the L on your right,_

_It's amazing how you're stirring slightly by my side._

Misaki shifts into my side and I can't help but admire the warm light (red) that bathes his face and hair and stupid hat and he looks calm and un-Misaki-ish (I will always love him) but you don't hate it while you are shadowed in the dark (blue) and hiding because you are nothing compared to him right now (or ever).

_You tug lightly on your side of the earphones,_

_So I keep quiet and tilt my head to my left to you._

_That's the only thing I can be proud of when it comes to you._

Anything for him.

I will do anything, big or small, for my Misaki to be the slightest bit more comfortable.

Except give him up.

_All the adults and the kids in the world share the same worries;_

_The annoyance, the despise, the restlessness, the pressure-_

I am no longer a child. The annoyance, the despise, the restlessness, the pressure- It is all for Misaki but it is all from Misaki.

I wouldn't have these if not for him.

But my life would be colourless instead.

_The song is sang in a voice that's already worn out..._

All my hopes left me long ago.

So I must protect Misaki's hopes which are the most beautiful and pure (by far).

_The need to become somebody else, to fulfill some sort of demand,_

What do you even want me to do?

_I feel the increasing need to escape from society,_

And get away from you.

To run, to hide, (to die...) I don't care.

_But my route of escape is blocked by the L & the R..._

Misaki is my reason to live.

_We're filled to the brim by the screams of the singer._

_L & R, since when did the sound that we hear become different?_

Dammit!

What did I do wrong?!

_Noticing the rhythm of the tapping of your fingers on your knee,_

_I realize we have slowly begun drifting apart..._

I want to reach out and hold your hand- But it's gone before I get there.

'_Before the album ends, I will be riding with you',_

_Because of this thing you said, I secretly put the song on repeat,_

You can't take him away! He is mine!

_But as the bus stops in front of our school, you who have forgotten,_

_Lifts your bag on your shoulders,_

_And ends up tugging the earphones out of my ears._

What about your promise?! (But I can't say,)

He leaves anyway. (And he can't see.)

_The childishness between us keeps us in iffy arguments;_

_The choking pain, the irritating, the unhappiness, the aversion-_

...and the frustration!

_In place of our conversation, there is that song._

I don't like it anymore.

It's boring. Like everything else (except for you, my Misaki).

_The need be become somebody else, the irritating demand to satisfy,_

_I really wanted to run away from this society..._

Maybe die. Anything (to escape the monochrome).

_But my route of escape is confined by the L & R..._

You keep me here.

You bring red and blue and left and right...

_Our screams of pain will burn us both._

I will not fall alone!

_If you decide to change your earphones for Amps_

_And if you say, "Let's sing this song together, everyone,"_

_I'll just have to destroy those Amps, right?_

I'm not willing to share.

_I beg your hate_

* * *

What is it they say? If you love something, let it go, if it loves you back, that's where it'll go?

That's stupid.

I can't take that risk.


End file.
